How to Deal With Cheating In A Relationship
Cheating can be devastating and rightly so.
The first reaction you might have on seeing your partner has cheated on you is leaving him.
However, the initial emotional outburst is definitely something that happens owing to the heat of the moment and frankly, it isn’t always the right thing to do.
Try and consider these factors prior to taking a final decision:
- Has your partner ever cheated on you before this or it’s the first time?
- Was it a one-night stand or a long-term affair?
- How long have you both been together?
- Do you have children?
The above-mentioned questions are of great significance when it comes to assessing about your partner and the decision to be taken thereafter.
You can take a close look at each factor enlisted here:
1) Has your partner ever cheated on you before this or it’s the first time?
While nothing can be guaranteed, still if it’s the first time, then it might just be one huge mistake and this might never be repeated.
You might act in haste if thinking of ending the relationship, in the first time itself.
It’s wiser to talk openly about the issue and figure out exactly what led him to do such.
- Was it because he was under the influence of alcohol?
- Or did he plan it out with someone he had been seeing for some time?
If too much alcohol is the reason that caused a ‘lapse in judgment’ while in that impaired state of mind, it’s pretty much obvious he still loves you and is utterly ashamed and regretful of what has happened.
On the other hand, if it was a planned move and he really desired for it.
It’s time you both need to see the bigger and clearer picture of your relationship and analyze where it went wrong.
You have to find if it’s a cry for some help or just seeking for notice in a bid to give more attention.
Men can sometimes feel a tad neglected while being in a relationship, particularly in those situations where children take up a substantial time and they might stay under the false notion that you are too busy to spend quality time with them, which results in building up of insecurity in the relationship.
2) Was it a one-night stand or a long-term affair?
Like the first, if it was a one-night stand then maybe your partner regrets that.
But if it was owing to a long term affair, then the story gets complicated and different.
The latter can have dangerous effects on the relationship and the agony caused to the spouse who has been cheated on is simply too much to forgive and forget.
A one-night stand implies mere casual sex and nothing beyond that, but a long term affair is deeper and kind of sharing your life with the person.
It’s way too personal and more difficult in terms of recovery.
One night stand is surely sex but a long term affair is deceit, lies and hurt.
3) How long have you both been together?
If the relationship has just started and your partner has already cheated, then it’s a problem sign for the future.
So it’s recommended you both quit while you’re at it.
But if you both have been together for a long time and it’s the first time he has cheated, then it’s time to reflect if something is wrong.
Perhaps your relationship is undergoing some turbulent phase and needs to be worked upon to get back that long lost spark and happiness.
4) Do you have children?
Having a child or children means you need to put on that extra thinking cap about the decision you take.
Kids can often survive a messy breakup and even be happy in the household of a single parent, but their happiness increases manifold if it’s the household of both parents.
But if even one of the parents in the latter is not pleased with staying together and carries tremendous angst, resentment and frequent fights happen as a result of all this, it’s better to keep the children with a single parent.
The difficulty increases manifold if children get involved in all this.
So try if possible to work through this hard phase and resolve all your differences if you wish to give your child a happy home.